To be or not to be? A journal entry to guide you on how to stop beating yourself up
“Grace means that all of your mistakes now serve a purpose, instead of serving shame.”
- Brené Brown
I love inspiring quotes and I have a wonderful pinterest board about it as well.
Check it out here:
Once, when I was adding ‘More Ideas’ to it, I came across this quote and you know that feeling when something makes so much sense to you that it's like somebody hit you with a brick on your head?
Yeah, that happened!
Not for real, but it felt that way and I'll tell you why.
I had, for a long time, wondered what the right approach was in between being disciplined and tough with yourself for getting things done that you had decided v/s having grace on yourself and not being too hard on yourself.
They are both recommended by different thought leaders and different perspectives that people have and I never understood which one I needed or what balance looked like between the two concepts.
When I read this quote, I realized that this was the answer.
While it’s very important to be strict with ourselves and make sure we do what we say we are going to do and that's a crucial skill to develop, it's the ‘beating ourselves up’ or ‘being hard on ourselves after the procrastination or delay has been done or the excuse has already been made’, that actually makes us stay in that place of guilt and inaction and we procrastinate further and stay in this vicious cycle.
It's the ‘beating ourselves up’ or ‘being hard on ourselves after the procrastination or delay has been done', that actually makes us stay in a cycle of guilt and inaction.
So, hopefully that made sense to you.
And then, Grace means that now all of your mistakes serve a purpose, instead of serving shame.
The statement pretty much speaks for itself...it makes the whole concept crystal clear and rounds it up really well.
So, giving yourself Grace means that instead of you being ashamed of yourself at the end of a day that you spent binge watching to procrastinate or a day when you didn't get things done, that mistake serves the purpose of either having given you some space kind of like a break or it serves to teach you what pattern you fall into and what to avoid on the days when you have to get things done.
Or if you made a huge error on stage during a speaking commitment, your mistake of fumbling on stage, instead of serving you shame and embarrassment, is now serving the purpose of a lesson that you learnt and teaching you what to do the next time or the purpose of you being more relatable to the audience, where you can just say something like, “Wow! I’m so sorry...I was so nervous coming up here and I had forgotten, but yeah I'm back on track now and we are going to talk about……”
This is such an important statement to remember, because after the mistake is done, there’s no point in beating yourself up and shaming yourself for a day wasted or a mistake made or whatever that looks like for you.
It’s just… to have Grace so that there’s now a purpose!
And strive to do your best, but give yourself some grace...that’s the final formula!
Strive to do your best by sticking to your promise to yourself, but give yourself some grace if you get off - track, once in a while...that’s the final formula!
This is what I came up with recently and I thought I'd share it with you.
So grateful for you!